Love Like Winter
by VampireSacrifice
Summary: Harry goes through Snape's memories to find out what happened between him and the boy's mother.  My own idea of how Lilly and Severous drifted apart.  One shot.


Love Like Winter -

A tale of Lily Evans and Severus Snape

The boy was running. He was running fast and hard, his breath coming out in a swirling fog. His face was covered by black hair as he darted forward blindly into the forest. It was mid-winter and the weather was dreadful. The Gothic castle at the top of the shrubby cliff was covered in snow. In fact, the snow was still falling. It hadn't stopped since the first flake rained from the sky. Now the ground was buried deep below the tiny frozen droplets of water. The lake was still and frozen over as children skated around on it, their laughs and giggles echoing all the way to the Forbidden Forrest, were the boy had found a large oak to crawl under. He buried his face in his silver and green scarf.

He was long and stringy, with yellow-pale skin. He had a pointy, sallow face and a strange hooked nose. The boy's hair was messy, reaching his shoulders, and it was as black as his watery eyes. A tear dripped silently down his cheek. He sniffed and wiped it off before it froze to the side of his face.

"Severus? What in Merlin's beard are you doing out here?" A beautiful girl with thick, straight red hair like cherries was standing beside him. He flinched, not having heard her creep up.

"Go away, Lily." He growled in a pained voice, curling into a tighter ball. She looked at him for a minute, unblinking. Her eyes were like green almonds.

"Oh, so your just going to sit hear and pout? Come on, Sev!" She took a step closer ans bent down so she was level with him. The snow was still falling heavy, burying Severus in white flakes. Lily reached out and touched his arm. Her skin was just as fair as the snow. He pulled away from her, glancing up with a cold expression.

"I said go away!" Severus scrambled to his feet, tripping over his robe and falling against the tree. Lily reached for him again, and he smacked her hand aside. She drew her arm to her body, clearly taken by surprise. She frowned at Severus and turned away angrily.

"Hmpf! What is it with you, Sev.? You've been so...so...ugh! Boys! It you boys! All men are so obnoxious and annoying at this age! Honestly, your almost as bad as James and his friends-"

"Don't say that! I will never be like them! Never! And you girls aren't much of a pleasure either! Your hormones flare and you get all snappy! It's not my fault your upset so easily!"

"Me? ME? I get upset easily? What about you? Your the one who called me a Mudblood when I was trying to help you! You embarrassed me in front of everyone!"

"That was a several years ago Lily. I told you I was sorry. Will you ever drop it?"

"No I won't drop it! I've heard you call others that! Just because we grew up as friends doesn't mean I'm going to tolerate your snobbish behavior! You think just like that Lucius Malfoy and all your other friends! Your scaring me, Severus."

Her voice grew worried and frightened. She lowered her head and let out a deep breath. Then, she turned to face him again.

Suddenly, the image of the Forbidden Forest began to fade away, Lily Evans and Severus Snape vanished into the snow around them, and everything went white.

"Enjoying yourself, Mr. Potter?" The adult Snape grabbed Harry around the neck and pulled him away from the bowl in which he was watching one of the Professor's old memories. Snape looked absolutely furious, like he might snap Harry in two like a twig. He pushed the boy towards the door, not caring if he hurt him along the way. Harry scowled and took the beatings as Snape hissed behind him.

"Now, _Potter_, that will be the very last time you steal a peak at my memories. Stay out of my mind, and Headmaster Dumbledore's things! Do I make myself clear?"

Harry was paying no attention to the bitter man. He was thinking to himself and staring at his shoes.

"I said, boy, do I make myself clear?" Snape sounded like he was about to explode.

"Yes SIR, _Professor_. I understand." Harry glared back into Snape's cold, ruthless eyes. He loathed the man, but he couldn't help feel a bit sorry for him after he saw what his dad used to do to him when they were students at Hogwarts.

"Your like a puppy, Mr. Potter. When they do things bad, you punish them. But they just try again later. Now, if you beat them, they won't ever do it again. That was your last punishment, Mr. Potter. When Dumbledore gets back, don't think I'm not going to tell him you've been sneaking up here and breaking into his cabinets."

"I won't do it again, sir." Harry sounded bitter as he began heading down the winding staircase. Snape watched him with a fiery look in his coal eyes.

He had barley taken two steps when Snape said in his stern voice, "Wait, Potter."

Harry cursed under his breath and turned around to face Snape one more time. Every second with him was like standing in fire. "...Sir?"

"Do you enjoy breaking into my memories because it pleases you to see me being bullied by your father and his filthy friends, or are you still in disbelief that your father wasn't who everyone, including yourself, thought he was cracked up to be?"

Harry pondered on the question. It caught him off guard. He certainly knew that being bullied was nothing to laugh about, even if it was Snape. But it's true that he was shocked by his dad's personality and sense of humor.

After a moment, he replied, "neither sir. I just enjoy seeing my mother. She was very pretty."

This had caught Professor Snape off guard as Harry had planned. He crossed his arms and coughed, trying to cover up his exposed emotion, which Harry had seen anyways.

"...you may leave, then. Get out."

"Whatever you say, Snivellus."

Oops. Harry didn't mean to say it out loud. Snape's face turned a murderous red.

"What. Did. You. Call. Me?"

"Nothing sir!"

"DETENTION! MY CLASSROOM! 7 SHARP TOMORROW!" He bellowed with rage and pointed to the bottom of the stairs. "You will peel toadscout seedlings until every last one of your fingers is raw and bleeding! NOW GET OUT!"

Harry cursed again and rushed down the staircase and out of Dumbledore's Study before Snape could say another word to him.

"Bloody children." Snape went back to the large, decorated bowl in which held his memory Harry had been watching. He stared down at it, watching the silvery, stringy substance swirling around in the water. His lip twitched and he reached for the vile to put the memory back in. But then, he turned back to the bowl, setting the vile down.

"_Severus_..." A female voice whispered in his head. Snape stared into the water as the memory twisted around itself. "_Severus_..." He found himself drawing closer. The silver strings kept dancing. They were memorizing.

Then, there was a bright light and suddenly, Snape was standing in the same scene Harry had been watching. The younger version of himself was standing a few feet in front of him. Lily, lovely, young Lily was on the verge of tears.

"You can't do this. You can't choose this path. Severus, you can't be a Death Eater. I don't want you to."

He bit his lip and took a step closer to her. Lily crossed her arms and looked at the ground, clearly upset. "Lily, it's my life, I'll do whatever I want with it. So please, stop bugging me about it!"

"...your right. It's your life. I think it's time I learned to stay out of it. So lets make a deal. I won't try to change your mind anymore, or state my opinions about what you spend your time doing. And you have to promise me the same thing. So? Deal?"

Severus tilted his head, wondering why she would want him out of her business. After a moments pause, he said, "deal."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, promise."

Lily gave a weak smile, then hugged her friend around the neck. For a second, Severus did nothing, then, he wrapped one of his hand around her waist and stroked her hair with the other. She smelled wonderful, like a garden in spring.

They broke apart, and Lily's expression suddenly became serious again. "There's something I need to tell you, Sev. And this is why I made you make that promise with me. This is going to be hard for you to hear, but I'm...I'm..." She took a deep breath. "I'm going out with James Potter."

Severus felt his heart sink. Dozens of different emotions began to stir inside him, like a boiling cauldron. He was angry, scared, sad, upset, hurt, regretful... "W-why? Why would you do this Lily? How could-? I can't believe you would-"

"Sev! Stop it, just stop. I don't want to talk about it any more. I'm starting like James, and so I took him up for once on the offer. Now please, stay true to our promise."

He hushed up, but the adrenalin did not die down. Lily had begun to walk away, her slim figure fading into the snow like mist. She looked like an angel.

"Lily. I...I l-lo...I love yo- I..." Severus was stammering, at a loss of words, terrified that what he wanted to say might insult her, or worse. "...I love your hair. It looks very nice today."

She blinked, then vanished into the white blizzard. When he was sure she was at least half way back to the castle, Severus fell to his knees, grabbing his hair and pulling tightly. "Ahhhh!" He felt his throat stinging. His head was pounding and he could not fight the tears as they streamed down the sides of his face. Everything had turned colder than before.

Then scene, in one white gust, was gone and Snape found himself back in Dumbledore's room. He stumbled backwards, almost tripping over a chair as he grasped for something to grab a hold of. Snape's hand gripped around the desk, and he was shocked to touch his face and feel the hot tears streaking down his cheeks. He slid down the side of the wood and sank to the floor. He hadn't cried in such a long time...

"Lily, oh Lily." Snape covered his face in dismay. "I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry." He felt a chill around him. It wasn't like a normal chill. It was comforting, reliving. He swore he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"_Severus...thank you...you've protected...Harry...thank you..._" The voice could have easily been mistaken for the howling of wind. In fact, a window had blown open as a strong gust whisked by. Snape brushed the hair out of his face and reached behind him to put a hand on his shoulder. There was nothing there, but he knew the feeling he had inside him now he only got when he was around Lily.


End file.
